It’s the birthday of Stephen King (b. 1947), the King of Horror (ha—see what I did there? I’m sure I’m the first to think of that) and one of the bestselling authors of all time—the sort of author, in fact, that prompts one to google “bestselling authors of all time,” which I have done for your edification. King, it turns out, doesn’t even crack the top 10, but is probably in the top 20ish. (Who, you ask, are the bestselling authors of all time? Three names consistently appear in the top three: William Shakespeare—he wrote plays—and Agatha Christie—mysteries—vie for Numero Uno, with estimated sales around 4 billion each, and then Barbara Cartland—really sappy romances—is third, with sales around 1 billion. I bet Shakespeare’s just glad he beat out Cartland. For Pete’s sake.)

Still, King has sold upwards of 350 million books, and that’s pretty good. Quite good.

King was born in Portland, Maine, and mostly raised by his mother after his parents separated when he was very young. They moved around some but ended up back in Maine when King was 11. King attended the University of Maine at Orono, getting his B.A. in English in 1970 and marrying Tabitha Spruce in 1971. BOOGETY BOOGETY BOOGETY! (Did it work? Did I scare you? No? See, writing horror is a gift. Some of us just don’t have it.) By then, King was already selling short stories to men’s magazines. He began teaching English in the fall of 1971 in Hampden, Maine, and sold his first novel, Carrie, in 1973, and was then able to quit teaching and write full time on the strength of a huge paperback deal for Carrie that was in the works. Carrie was actually published in 1974, followed by ‘Salem’s Lot (1975), The Shining (1977), Rage (1977), and about 90 more novels, including his most recent, The Outsider (2018). THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM WITHIN THE HOUSE! (Did that scare you? That always scares me, even when I’m the one who says it. I have no idea who originally wrote that line.)

King and his wife have three children and four grandchildren, according to his own web site. His web site also says that he is 6’4” and 200 pounds, believes in God and reads the Bible, and belongs to a band called The Rock Bottom Remainders. (Other members include or have included such literary luminaries as Dave Barry, Amy Tan, Matt Groening, and Barbara Kingsolver.) The FAQs page at his site has a list of Rumors, including the question, “Are you dead?” to which King replies, “Nope.” But he was seriously injured when he was hit by a car in 1999.

If King had done nothing with his life but written the novella Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption so that it could be made into the movie The Shawshank Redemption, his life would have been well spent.

(In honor of both King and Matt Groening, here’s the least edifying link I’ve ever posted. But a true favorite of mine.)

Take an inordinate amount of joy in the fact that this is Friday and stay scrupulously honest to the data.